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Ok, I have to confess, I hate the Law of Attraction. The problem lies in asserting it as a “law.” I see some truth to the principles of it, but calling it a law goes too far. To start with, there is a claim that whatever happens to you is a result of what vibe you’re putting out to the universe. If true, then that means the person who is suffering is to blame. I refuse to believe that a child that is born addicted to crack or a holocaust survivor somehow deserves it. That blame lies on the perpetrator. Also, to believe you alone create everything in your life can inflate one’s ego to a monstrous size.

From a physics standpoint it also does not make sense when you look at how a magnet works. The positive side will repel another magnet’s positive side, but attracts the negative side. There are also people who fall in love with someone who is opposite to them. Hence the saying opposites attract. Although this is not always true in the romance department, it is true often enough that we’ve developed a cliché around it. Even a battery has both a positive and negative charge, both of which are needed for it to function. So let’s not call this a “law” because for it to truly be a law it would have to be true in all circumstances all the time.

Telling a person that’s been victimized by an abuser, or a grieving parent that has lost a child that they somehow attracted the event can be incredibly damaging. It is important to realize where one’s role in a relationship is, and taking responsibility is important of course. However, there is such a thing as appropriate responsibility. An abuser my assault a person and then say, why did you make me do that? The fault there lies in the abuser not the victim. While it may be a good idea for the victim to see what they can do to avoid being hurt in the future, it goes too far to automatically blame them. For people with depression or another mental illness, they already may have a lot of shame around having it and telling them to simply change their attitude only makes things worse.

Further, if being around negativity would only bring about more of the same, there would be no reason for anyone to work in a helping field, lest the person in that job would only be getting more and more negativity in their own lives. No one would go to a self-help group for healing. Sick children? Ignore them until they change their mind.

Additionally, they are plenty of people in this world that could be described as incredibly negative and are opportunist predators who enjoy massive amounts of prosperity. While they probably at their core don’t enjoy quality relationships with good people, they can at least have the appearance of a good life from the outside.

With all this being said, I do believe there are some very worthwhile aspects to the thought process around the law of attraction. It can be a great starting point to begin any new project or life goal. Henry Ford said, “whether you believe you can or you can’t, you’re right.” If you in your heart of hearts think you cannot make something work, odds are you’ll encounter more resistance in getting things done. Some people often succeed simply because they were not told what they were doing was impossible. It’s always worth taking a shot. Wayne Gretzky said, “you miss all the shots you don’t take.” You can always say you at least took a shot, rather than surrender to the regret of never having took it. Odds are you’ll miss and miss often. But each time you try, the greater the chance you’ll hit your goal. It’s better to learn from the mistakes made and realize that failure can often be a greater teacher than success.

Where the law of attraction is a good thing is in paying attention to your mindset. Using visualization, vision boards, etc. are a great way to keep focused on your goals and manifesting them. But you have to take the steps toward what you want in addition to the belief in yourself. Also realize, no one can truly do everything on their own. There will be teachers, friends, business allies, and coaches who can help you along the way. A bad attitude is a great way to alienate people and make things incredibly difficult. Personally, I find people that are in negative moods, are greedy, or only in it for themselves are not people I want to have help me. But if I leave an honest and positive impression on others, not only does it help maintain a good attitude, it leaves a greater chance of positive things happening later on. Like tends to attract like. But you cannot truly control everything in your life. But you can choose how you want to react and learn from everything that occurs in your life.

If you want a better life, it is certainly to your advantage to put out a positive vibe and to have a positive mindset. Success may come, but it is a journey that no one can truly know how long it will take. Take your shot, learn, adapt, and help others along the way. Your chances are much better. Success sometimes takes years of hard work and dedication that involves a lot of failure. But the harder you fight for it, the greater the reward. We all lie somewhere between all powerful and completely powerless. This means we don’t have to be responsible for everything, and nor should we ignore our role in our own lives.