Narcissistic Abuse Recovery

Making room for everyone else leaves none for you.

Feeling everyone else’s pains and the weight of the world is beyond overwhelming. For Highly Sensitive People (HSPs) and those with high empathy, that gift comes with a huge price. Energy-sensitive people-pleasers and fixers give and give until they self-abandon, but it’s not something you can turn off.

Saying no to others feels so very wrong. Usually, there is trauma, or multiple traumas, which played a part in this. Sometimes it can be the result of someone in your history who had an illness, either mental or physical. Escaping it isn’t enough to heal the damage.

PTSD, C-PTSD, being anxious all too often, or agreeing to things you quickly regret are all too common. I use EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, and Shadow Work to help you heal and build boundaries. These help regulate your nervous system so you can start living your own life and enjoy deeper, more meaningful connections on your terms.

Healing has to do more than talk; it requires feeling and connecting. The power of guilt, shame, overwhelm, and negative beliefs can be overcome even if you’ve felt that way for too long. Empathic HSPs often give and give, it’s time to make room for yourself. If you’re usually saying, “I’m okay,” but you’re not okay, and you know it.

Narcissistic abuse is not okay.

You may say you are okay, but you know you’re not. For people who grew up with a narcissistic family member or other personality disorder, life was a living hell. Never good enough, being expected to behave, act, and appear a certain way was not just forced; it was tyrannically imposed, and to defy it was not tolerated.

But to the outside world, it may have looked very different. Narcissists go to enormous lengths to project the image they want, but behind closed doors, the illusion fades. Some are grandiose, often trying to get a sense of awe, others are more covert and are all too happy to be seen as a martyr, no one has suffered more than they have, life was never so unfair as what they have endured.

Like the mythical vampire, a predator that needs one’s life force to survive, they don’t have a reflection, just like narcissists don’t self-reflect, and they need permission to enter into your home/life. Yet they can be exceptionally cunning in achieving that goal.

Giving in to abuse only makes it worse.

If you were born to a narcissist, they’ll see you as theirs and more like property than a human being.
You may have learned to fawn, surrender, and accept the behavior. This is actually a trauma response. Self-abandonment became a means of survival. Although they probably would call it their “good parenting.”

Meanwhile, you may have become a “fixer” or someone who might be seen as the nice guy/girl ready to sacrifice everything for the good of others. Dependable, yet often giving to the point of exhaustion, while your own needs don’t get met. Not only that, but the idea of even asking is incredibly difficult if you don’t even know how or when to ask. That is not your fault, despite what your conscience might say.

You know that voice in your head that is also criticizing anything and everything, but you give in and remain silent. Living with a narcissist damages your spirit, robbing you of self-identity.

Therapy can provide damage control.

The resulting damage can manifest in many forms, such as PTSD, C-PTSD, anxiety/depression, to name a few. Trauma, though, is absolutely present. Still, healing and recovery are possible.

It starts with the nervous system, then works with the negative beliefs victims hold and the emotions that drive them.

Setting boundaries and enforcing them is also critical to building your defenses and to preventing others from victimizing you. This takes your power back and lets you start living the life you want.

It can be a great skill and very rewarding to serve others, de-escalate situations, and help the less fortunate. You may have developed a high degree of empathy or might be described as a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). These can be wonderful gifts, but often require extra self-care to function in day-to-day life without getting overwhelmed or numbed out.

It’s okay to make room for yourself.

You cannot serve from an empty vessel, which is what happens when dealing with narcissistic abuse.

If the above resonates for you, part of you knows it’s time to get help. It is okay not to be okay, and coming to terms with that is the first step.

The next step is to call me at (720) 637-4299 to schedule a free consultation.